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The Adventures of Nine and Ten: Adventure #3

Hello, and welcome to the third edition of The Adventures of Nine and Ten! I want to thank EVERYONE who has joined the community, read the comics, commented, filled out the poll, shared the comics with their friends, and all around been supportive. I have a ton of fun making these things, so it's really great to know that more people than just me get a kick out of it. It makes my insanity a little more tolerable. :D

In tribute to the comic getting it's own LJ community and fan following, I tried to step up the budget just a little. (Okay, not really.) But I figured since I was doing this for more than myself, at least, I could spend a little extra time on it. I won't spoil what the upgrades are but I hope you enjoy them. (And, as always, you can find the previous Adventures in the [community memories].) Anyway, without further ado!

(Please note, all comics are rated R / Mature for language, violence and the fact that Nine and Ten get it on.)


Somewhere in the PAST... (and omfg outside)

TARDIS: vworp... VWORP


TARDIS: VWORP... VWORP


TARDIS: Vworp!

The TARDIS materializes.

Nine: Hot piss! We made it!
Ten: ... wtf. This is so not 1973.
Nine: No, it's 65,000,000 BC, or thereabouts. Give or take a few millenia.
Ten: Why does it look like Southern California?
Nine: Because it is. Quiet, you.


Ten: Bored now.
Nine: What? You said you wanted to see T. Rex. There he is, over there.
Dinosaurs: Raaawr!
Ten:. ...


Ten: I MEANT THE GORRAM GLAM ROCK GROUP.
Nine: Well, I'm sure there are rocks here...
Ten: You should have known what I meant.
Nine: Well, we can't go to 1973, anyway. You know that. Our budget couldn't afford it. We might run into Sam.


Ten: ... is it just me, or do those dinosaurs look fetchingly odd?
Nine: I like dinosaurs, me.
TARDIS: *is so not made of paper and nearly blowing away*


Nine: ... I think you look odd. What's with the scarf?
Ten: Sits pretty cunning, don't you think?
Nine: Are you over compensating, like Four was?


Ten: What? No! Scarves are awesome. omg ur so mean
Nine: Four was over compensating. Five didn't need to. ;)
Ten: ... would you shut up?


Ten: Look, those dinosaurs are desaturated. We should find out why. I'm almost positive you won't die this episode.
Nine: Thought you wanted to visit Bolan? (It's your turn to die)
Ten: Well, we very well can't, can we? So, let's say hello to the cute widdle weptiles.
Nine: .. they'll probably just vanish as soon as we approach, anyway.
Ten: Sigh. No Timescoops here, luv.


Dinosaurs: *totally unsaturated*
Nine: We're gonna film this in black and white? Our ratings are gonna plummet.
Ten: We have ratings? Anyway, we'll fix the color problem. Stop being a baby.


Ten: HELL-O, DI-NO-SAURS. WE COME... IN PEACE.
Steggosaurus: hay sup lolz
Baby T. Rex: Wow, I thought humans were just a myth.


Nine: We've got a question for you.
Ten: Do you jive?
Nine: ... that, and, where's all the color gone?


Ten: I think this one wants to eat me.
Nine: Tell him to get in line after me. ;)


Steggosaurus: All the color was taken away by our enemies. They hoard it, those tricksey bastards.
Baby T. Rex: We starve because we hunt by sight, see. Without color, we can't see so good.
Steggosaurus: Well, that's true for the carnivores, anyway.
Baby T. Rex: My, what big eyes you have. :9
Ten: Um.


Nine: Well, maybe that's how the dinosaurs went extinct?
Ten: Shhh, don't tell them that!
Baby T. Rex: ZOMFG SPOILERS!!!!!1


T. Rex (Razor): *totally gnawing*
Gnawed on Dinosaur: Ow! My head!
Nine: ... doesn't that look fun. And by fun I mean horrific.
Ten: Stupid, aren't they.
Nine: And hungry.


Nine: Well, then. Have a nice day! Cheerio!
Ten: Hey! We can't leave them like this.


Nine: Why not. I don't recall liking dinosaurs.
Ten: ... what happened to "I like dinosaurs, me"? Besides, they need our help!
Nine: You're not the one who died in the past two episodes!
Ten: ... yes I did. I died in Adventure one.
Nine: Oh. Right, well, then, it is your turn again.


Nine: *sigh* I guess we can help them.


Ten: I knew you'd see it my way.
Nine: Being the future-me, shouldn't you know how this ends up?
Ten: No one should know too much about their future.


Baby T. Rex: Come on! Let's go!! I'm hungry!
Nine: I've got a very bad feeling about this.


Ten: We're going to help you restore the color, and you're not going to betray us and eat us.
Steggosaurus: The color keepers are over there. They keep all the color for themselves.


Ten: Oh. Well. Isn't that something?
Nine: .. don't recall seeing them in any history book.

In the distance, our Time Lords find where all the color has gone.

Ponies: My Little Pony, My Little Pony! Made of saccarin and sparkles!


Nine: It's like a Pride Parade! Only without the men! Lookit all the colors! :D
Ten: Rather boring then, without the men.
Nine: God, you're so gay.

The ponies, startled at the new arrivals, face off.

Baby Moondancer: What's the buzz, tell me what's a-happening?


Ten: We sort of noticed you were stealing all the color from our dinosaur friends.
Nine: They're our friends now, are they?
Baby T. Rex: *Salivates*
Minty: They eat us. Please to be going.


Ten: I don't think you understand.
Nine: They're starving because they can't feed without color.
Baby Moondancer: ... you're retarded.


Nine: Be nice.
Ten: I can hurt you.
Baby Moondancer: They're tricking you to get to us.

Nine fondly puts a hand on Baby T. Rex, to prove a point.


Nine: Surely you jest! Baby T. Rex would never hurt anyone, would you you widdle cutey?
Ten: Even if they do eat your people, you shouldn't use magic to blind them. IT'S WRONG AND EVIL AND STUFF.


Baby Moondancer: ... I realize we're all plastic, but why do I get the impression that you're the only ones with no brains?
Nine: I like dinosaurs, me.
Ten: ... he gets like that.

Ten starts speechifying.

Ten: Friends! Ponies! Countrymen! Lend me your ears!
Baby Moondancer: This is fucked up. Don't listen to him, girls.

Steggosaurus notices something!

Steggosaurus: Shit.
Carnivores (OS): *approach!*


Baby Moondancer: Now you've really done it.
Nine: Things are about to get pretty interesting.
Ten: ... define 'interesting.'
Nine: 'Oh God, oh God, we're all gonna die'?

The canivores have followed our heroes to the ponies!

Razor: Can you feel the love tonight?


Razor: Hi boys. ♥

Nine leaps into action.

Nine: Stop! In the name of Love!
Ten: *facepalm* Oh boy.


Razor: My, aren't you colorful?
Nine: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

This does not deter Razor any.

Nine: OMGWTFBBQ!!!!!
Ten: Leaping Lucifer! Only I'm allowed to eat Nine!
Razor: *munchmunchmunch*
Ten: Well, all right then.

This signals the rest of the dinosaurs to attack!

Dinosaurs: *ATTACK*
Ponies: *DIE*

OH THE HUMANPONITY!



Nine: WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME!!?!?!?!
Ten: Release him! The power of Christ compells you! The power of Christ compells you!
Razor: It's 65,000,000 BC, buddy.
Ten: Don't you know it's rude to talk with your mouth full?

The unicorns, having special winking powers, WINK AWAY. FAT LOT OF HELP YOU ARE.

Unicorns: *wink!*
Ten: ... wtf was that?


Baby T. Rex: Now I'm really angry!
Ten: Snakes. Why's it always gotta be snakes?
Nine: ... little help here?

Ten springs into action!

Ten: Ha HA!
Scarf: *snap!*
Nine *grasped!*
Razor: *stupid!*


Ten: I've got you!
Nine: But who's got you?

Due to Ten's cunning scarf, he saves Nine from the jaws of DEATH.

Nine: Thanks old chap.
Ten: np. lol.


Ten: Even though there is danger all around us, I will take this moment to cradle your broken and bleeding body.
Nine: I'm not actually bleeding. In fact, I feel quite well.


Ten: Shut up and let me make sure you're okay.
Nine: Not seeing how your tongue down my throat is helping mmmpggfff.
Ten: ... where do go be your hand? teehee.


Baby Moondancer: *clears her throat* Ahem.
Ten: Oh, right, um. Yes. Hello.
Nine: Asexuality is so overrated.

Razor is now very unhappy.

Baby Moondancer: We've got problems, still.
Razor: I can eat you too, you know.


Baby Moondancer: In the name of the moon, I will punish you.
Ten: ... sigh.

Nine springs into action!

Nine: Look, I can't just lie on my back and get killed all the time. I will end you.
Razor: What? With a scarf?
Ten: omfg that's my scarf, Ni'! fuckin' copy cat :(:(


Nine: Yup. Still got it.
Razor: mmmpgfh!!


Ten: ... not bad. I give it an 8 out of 10.
Nine: ... I'd like a Nine in Ten. ;);););)
Ten: ... I dunno, Eight was pretty smexxy. ;)

Just then, the unicorns wink back, surrounding Razor!

Nine: Holy sparkling dust, Batman!
Ten: ... don't every say that again.


Unicorns: We are the unicorns who say NI!
Nine: :D That's my name! :D


Unicorns: CARE BEAR STARE!
Razor: !!!!!!

And Razor vanishes in a puff of white sparkles!

Razor: *vanishes!*
Unicorns: *cheer*
Nine: Party on, dudes and dudettes!
Ten: That was most triumphant.
Nine & Ten: *air guitar*


Nine: Jolly good show. Ten stars, all around.


Baby Moondancer: It's not over yet, KILL THEM ALL.
Other T. Rex: Pardon me, but do you happen to have any Grey Poupon?


Other T. Rex: FAST AS FAST CAN BE YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME!
Unicorns: *attack!*

The unicorn's power EXTERMINATES the dinosaurs.

Unicorns: *cheer*
Other T. Rex: *pwnd*
Ten: Tee hee, sparkles.

On a roll now, the unicorns go on the offensive!

Baby T. Rex: Curse your sudden by inevitable betrayal!
Nine: .. saw that coming.
Unicorns: *attack!*


Baby T. Rex: rez plz
Baby T. Rex: rez plz
Baby T. Rex: rez plz
Baby T. Rex: rez plz
Baby T. Rex: rez plz
Baby T. Rex: fuxxing wankers
Baby T. Rex has left the game.


Carnivores: It was just a joke! We were just joking!
Baby Moondancer: For the Hoard!


Small Carnivores: *Erased from existance*
Big Carnivore: Great Scott! Spare me! I can be good, I swear! I can change!
Baby Moondancer: No second chances. I'm that sort of unicorn.
Ten: ... thief.


Carnivore: *EXTERMINATED*
Unicorns: YAY!!!


Sparkler: Hey, these ones are getting away.


Baby Moondancer: Let them go. Let them tell the other dinosaurs what happens when they fuck with the My Little Ponies in Dream Valley.

Ten dons his scarf again, watching the last of the dinosaurs flee.

Ten: Well. That went well.
Nine: Nevermind all the dead ponies behind us.


Baby Moondancer: Thanks for your help. Only, not really, since you brought them here in the first place.
Nine: But now you can return the color.
Ten: They'll not attack you because they know you can pwn them.
Nine: It's a win-win situation.


Baby Beachball: Except for the part where like, lots of us died.
Nine: Yes, well, casualities happen.
Ten: You're all extinct in a few million years anyway.
Baby Moondancer: OMFG SPOILERS U WHOREZ, LJ CUT PLZ *defriends*


Nine: Don't tell them that. That's rude!
Ten: You're so cute when you're angry. There's spittle and everything. ♥


Nine: ... you look daft with that scarf on.
Ten: This scarf saved your life. So STFU n00b.


Nine: Hey, where'd everyone go?
Baby Moondancer: When ponies die, we dissappear. The survivors fled.
Ten: Well, that explains the lack of fossils.


Baby Moondancer: I guess we'll return the color. We're lazy.
Nine: Fantastic!


Sparkler: For now, though, we must regen, and heal the wounded.


Nine: Well, that's our cue to leave.
Ten: And have hot sex in the TARDIS.


Steggosaurus: I feel bad. Can I help rebuild?
Sparkler: Yes. We will in no way skewer your head on a pike and hold you in contempt as a warning to others.
Steggosaurus: Because I'm a herbivore.
Sparkler: Because your brain is the size of a pea.
Steggosaurus: Life. Don't talk to me about life. Brain the size of a pea. *sigh*


Sparkler: You're an honorary pony.
Steggosaurus: Can I get a picture on my butt too, then?
Sparkler: Sure. I'll take you to the Sparkly Biker Pony Tattoo Parlor of Dreams. :D It's free opium night tonight!


Nine: Ooh, can I get a tattoo too? I fancy a TARDIS on my inner thigh.
Ten: ... *drags him off*


Ten: Well, bye then!
Nine: Have a nice extinction!
Unicorns: Good riddance!

Back at the TARDIS.

Ten: That was close.
Nine: I like dinosaurs, me. But, maybe just in picture books.


Ten: But all the adventure excites me, if you know what I mean. And I think you do. ;)
Nine: Hehehehe. We could dress like cavemen and do it in the road.
Ten: Stop it, you're giving me Leela flashbacks.
Nine: Aye, she was a nice piece of savage arse, she was.

Little did our heroes know, they were being observed!

Baby Moondancer: *vouyers*
Nine: I think I've just thought of a good S&M use for that scarf.
Ten: Why do you think I started wearing it, silly? ;)
Baby Moondancer: Ahem!


Ten: Who with the what now?!
Nine: Oh, it's the horse. Come to give us the moral of the day?
Ten: That's what we need! A Wheel of Morality!
Nine: Wheel of Morality, turn, turn, turn! Tell us the lesson we should learn!
Baby Moondancer: No, that's not it.
Nine: Oh, bugger this.


Baby Moondancer: I don't understand. Where did you come from?
Ten: The TARDIS. It's a time machine.
Nine: She's not exactly got a grasp of time travel, Ten.


Nine (OS): Look the dinosaurs are fixed, this timeline is back to normal. All is well. Don't worry your pretty little head. Go back home.

THERE ARE NO FINGERS IN THIS PICTURE. YOU ARE EXPERIENCING MASS HALLUCINATION. FOR REALZ.

Baby Moondancer: You built a Time Machine . . . out of a DeLorean Police Box!?
Nine: Now how does a pony from the Jussaric era know the concept of time travel?
Baby Moondancer: I'm a unicorn?


Nine: Well, yes. We're from the future. We travel through time and space in our TARDIS.
Baby Moondancer: ... Time And Relative Dimensions In Space?
Nine: ... cookie for the bright lass.


Baby Moondancer: Where will you go?
Nine: Dunno. You could come with us.


Baby Moondancer: ... o rly?


Nine: ya rly.

And so, the unicorn joins our heroes and steps into the TARDIS!

TARDIS: *cues WoooOOOOooooo music*


TARDIS: *gleams!*
Cardboard: *sparkles!*
Seal: *Rassilon's!*


Baby Moondancer: ... it's bigger on the inside than the outside.
Ten: 'Course. We couldn't all fit, otherwise.
Nine: Welcome aboard.


Baby Moondancer: I just pissed myself. Sorry.
Ten: .. having a horse on board is going to get real old, real fast.


Nine: Well, nevermind that for now. Let's go!
Baby Moondancer: Where to?


Nine: Well, you're the new companion. You decide.
Baby Moondancer: Um. I'd like to see humans, I think.


Nine: That's a bit vague, isn't it?
Ten: I like humans, me.
Nine: We just saw humans last episode. They killed each other.
Baby Moondancer: Well, I'm not picky, really.


Nine: Hmmm. Well, we are in a time machine. If you don't like it, we'll just leave.
Ten: We could use the randomizer.
Nine: ... the last time we used that we ended up in a black void for thirty years.
Ten: ... oh yeah. But wasn't that fun? ;)
Nine: You're so dirty. ;)


Nine: So, where'll it be?
Ten: We could see dragons! Giants! Rock concerts! Robots!
Baby Moondancer: I want to see the future. Where we're extinct.
Nine: ... cheerful girl, isn't she?


Baby Moondancer: It's only fair. I'll be the only pony to ever see it.
Nine: To the future of Earth then, it is.
Ten: Been there, done that, got the shirt.
Nine: ... did you in the shirt.
Ten: My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.


Baby Moondancer: I think I just threw up in my mouth, a little.


Nine: ... best to understand, little girl, that me and Ten, we've got this ...thing.
Ten: .. Oh shut it. Let's not scare the children.
Baby Moondancer (OS): I can't hear you, LALALALAALALAA.


Ten: Setting coordinates for the Future.
Nine: I've got a very bad feeling about this.


Nine: How do you suppose modern day earthlings will react to seeing a plastic unicorn around?
Ten: ... I knew there was a reason we always traveled with humanoids.


TARDIS: *Vworp! Vworp!*
Nine: Ah well, too late now.


*Cue theme music*

THE END.

Hopefully that didn't suck too much. I WILL FOREVER BE PARANOID ABOUT MY COMIC THINGIE SUCKING. Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed this, and especially my cardboard TARDIS. I spent a lot of time creating that, and I think it's fantasically lame. :D Anyway, thanks again for reading, commenting, sharing the link, laughing, being amused and all the more. If you have ideas for future Adventures, please feel free to leave suggestions in the comics. I can't promise I'll get to it, but I will try my best! Thanks again! :D:D:D
Tags: adventure 3, nine/ten, tens!scarf
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